Women and the Impossible "Beauty Standard"
I have commented before on the disservice I believe society does to women - in particular. (It does a different disservice to men in my opinion, which is not the subject of this post). I’m talking about beauty standards.
Little girls tend to hear compliments like, “oh isn’t she pretty rather than isn’t she clever”. Our society places a high priority on youth and beauty especially for women - and though I too appreciate beauty (and some days I long for youth), I still believe too much pressure is placed upon women – who then try to hold themselves to a beauty standard they can never attain – and in some cases, it negatively affects their self-worth.
We hear of boys in school rating girls on whether they make the ‘hot or not list’. We see stars ‘splashed across our TV or computer screens or in magazines or up on billboards or on buses or – etc. (albeit this is after they’ve probably spent a TON on professionals to do their hair and make-up).
I have also seen on various social media sites, women who gain attention by showing far too much skin for much if anything to be left to the imagination and of course, in general guys love it and the women is ‘satisfied’ because she has gotten the attention she craves to feel 'worthwhile'.
But I have to ask myself, how twisted is it that you find your worth in the attention of men drooling over your physical attributes and while he may long to "F" you, is he interested in knowing you?
I’m not going to delve deeper into that question in this post because:
1. It isn’t the point.
2. I was once one of those women – I felt I only had worth – when men paid attention to me and let me say some of the attention, I accepted was FAR beneath the respect I deserved.
3. Then, I wised up.
4. I’ve done my own psychoanalysis – I’m no longer that person but it is why I feel empathy when I see “Sisters” stuck in this pattern.
If I could impart anything to my younger self – and to any women now no matter your age, it is – YOU control your own value.
If you allow men to talk to you in ways that do not show respect, then they are not going to respect you. If your self-worth is tied only to if you are hot, cute, sexy, pretty, beautiful or any adjective you want to use here, what are you going to do when your looks fade?
Self-worth comes from fully knowing and loving yourself - flaws and all – overweight and all. It comes from self-acceptance and caring more what YOU think of you than what any other person does, and no one is going to respect you or give you the attention and love you desire if you don’t first start seeing yourself as a high value woman and refuse to be treated as less either by yourself or by any other person.
My rant is over, but if you’re still stuck on how pretty you are when you are comparing yourself to that star or that magazine image, take a look at what some of these famous ladies look like without their fancy makeup. Yes, some are indeed natural beauties, but some look no ‘prettier’ than you or me.
Don’t believe me? Click the link
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